Man Jewelry

Posted by Greg

Man Jewelry. What is it, and why does it matter? Man Jewelry is something that a man wears to set himself apart from his peers…a tie, socks or his underwear. Let's face it, men's clothing is really pretty boring. You wear a shirt, pants and shoes, usually in darker colors or khaki. Yep, boring. The only thing that you can do to make yourself standout from your peers is wear Man Jewelry.

Most men aren't able to show off their socks or underwear during the daytime, let alone to their peers, so really, the only thing men can wear to show their attitude of the day is their tie…Man Jewelry. While we refuse to wear ties at Verde, we're certainly not against them. In fact, we like it when people wear ties into Verde. It's entertaining. If you walk into our facility wearing stripes, polka dots or dancing bears on your tie, we know what you're like. At least we like to think we know what you're like.  Yes, we are judging you. 

As a suggestion to future sales people coming in, please, please make sure your tie is long enough to reach the top of your belt. Any shorter, and we're going to make you do 100 sit-ups. Any longer, and we're going to make you re-tie it. If the knot at the top of your collar is too big, you're going to have to re-tie it…it's just not okay. The knot size is inversely proportional to your brain size. Think about it, tie it smaller and we'll know we're dealing with an MBA. If you wear a tie-clip, please just turn around and just walk back out. The next time you show up, we'll have a sign specifically for you. No, you cannot come in. If you have a stain on your tie, make something up about your kids and peanut butter. Don't lie to us, we know better. Chances are, you were eating fast-food on the way to our offices, and you dripped. If you remove it, you'll look like a fish out of water. You need your tie, and we'll know you need it, too! You're simply not very comfortable without it. One more thing, we keep notes about which tie you show up with and when. If you continually wear the same tie to our offices, we'll have a new one waiting for you. You'll have to retire your old one with scissors, and hopefully the new one will match your attitude. If not, it'll at least match ours. See you soon, and next time show up on Sleeveless Friday!

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http://www.abcneckties.com/necktiehistory.html

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